Silence is golden – keep on talking

I remember at school, I never raised my hand to answer teacher’s questions, always the same group of kids picked theirs up, and teachers naturally choose someone from among them. I also remember that in high school I had very insensitive teachers, because, as I raised my hand - which in the language of introverts means, I have something really important to say - I was ignored. Teachers remembered us, introverts, actually, in their eyes less active students, when no one presented themselves for answering, not even their pet pupils. Of course, each answer was graded, so the chances of poor evaluation were confidently assigned to the quiet and peaceful students and not to the "active" ones.

Being an introvert in a world run on the principles of extraversion is a little like trying to break into the male world by women. The school system and work is extrovert programmed. Being an extrovert is worthwhile. Quick decisions are valued, but also speaking up, talk, jabbering, at any price. Someone who doesn’t speak, doesn’t count. Even better if you speak quickly, then - research shows – you are more popular.

Susan Cain describes what introversion is in here superb book called Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World That Can not Stop Talking. I didn’t even realize that nowadays the question of polarization of personality is one of the more closely studied by social psychologists topics.

Our personality is shaped by whether we are introverts or extroverts. Other factors play virtually no role. From that depends on which friends we choose, what we do professionally, whether we are consistent, whether we succumb to temptation, where we go on vacation.

Introversion and extraversion are opposite ends of one axis. We are all located somewhere on this axis. But one type of personality, in other circumstances, does not preclude the other. I’m an introvert, but I like to meet with friends, I even like meeting new people. But then I need two or three "silent" days, for regeneration.

Introverts draw energy from the inside, don’t like attention focused on them, extroverts on the other had, recharge by being with people, they like to be in the spotlight. Introvert before speaking, rethink every word, and how it will echo with others, extrovert immediately say what they think, only then will they give it a reflection. Introverts prefer to work individually and extroverts in a group. Introvert get quickly tired of being in an over stimulated environment, exactly the place for extroverts.

Carl Gustav Jung was the first to diagnose the differences in personalities. His ideas were expanded by two psychologists, who gave their name to the Myers-Briggs indicator, which distinguishes 16 types of personality. Answering four sets of questions, you can discover what type you are. Often it lies somewhere in-between two types, but it still can explain a lot. Every year, 2 million people study the Myers-Briggs indicator, it is practically the basis of any training for managers. You can do it now by clicking – here.

I often hear that no one would have thought that I am an introvert. Therefore, in the next post I will try to tackle the myths associated with introverts. According to Myers-Briggs indicator I’m an empathetic humanist type, the INFJ - read more here.

The book Quiet - click here