Keeping information to yourself is a funny thing. Especially if someone giving you the information tells you not to pass it on. The question is why would that someone asks you that? Is it because that person is in ‘the box’ and generally that’s their style – to keep information to themselves? And what effect has it on you? You want to be loyal and keep your promise and ‘the secret’?
As it
turns out, repeating someone else style is not very beneficial. On the
contrary, you are spreading the malaise. Keeping information to yourself,
particularly information that can be of benefit to your co-workers is a dead
end street.
The issue
comes down to the difference between the culture of sharing and the culture of
scarcity. In the world of scarcity people cling to their information like some
sort of protecting shield. Against what? On the other hand, in the culture of
sharing people don’t takes themselves so damn seriously.
Sharing
builds trust in a group, team or family. It calms anxiety and is a catalyst of
innovation. It makes you feel good, for going beyond your need to feel
important. It’s a building block of inner fulfillment. Scarcity is exactly the
opposite.
Imagine a
situation, where you know something, you don’t pass the information, although
you are aware that it might be important to others, and suddenly someone else
shares that news with you. The immediate reaction in your body is stress. For
starters you feel stupid for not breaking the news first. Then your ego kicks
in, telling you that you just lost an opportunity to be significant. That
creates even more anxiety and anger. Perhaps even towards the person that
informed you, informed you out of good will after all.
The most
common reaction afterwards is to say ‘I knew that already’. This is the
scarcity defense mechanism, trying to prove to others that their ‘breaking
news’ is old news for us. What it does in the long-term is prevent others from
sharing with us. They simply think we know it all anyway, there’s no point in
approaching us and besides ‘he/she doesn’t appreciate it anyway’. The culture
of scarcity shuts down communication.
So next
time you know something that you feel might benefit others, don’t take yourself
so damn seriously and share.
Brilliant
book on the culture of scarcity: Daring Greatly by Brene Brown – click here
