Great expectations

Charles Dickens’ Great expectations was by far my favorite childhood reading. The adventures inspired me, the descriptions fed my imagination, but above all, although sad throughout, the story gave me hope that conscience and loyalty matter.

Just now I realized on my own skin how other people’s expectations towards you can be destructive. How easy it is to fall into a trap and believe that by fulfilling others’ hopes you can make them happy and how by pleasing them, make yourself happy. Nothing more wrong.

I can’t really give examples of my own, because I don’t want to offend my close ones. So I will use the story from Dickens book – young country boy Pip is suddenly taken out of his natural environment and prepared to be a gentleman with the help of a mysterious benefactor. He goes through all the character mending and bending motivated by one thing – the prospect that one day, cold-hearted upper-class Estella will love him back.

Of course she never does. Why? Well probably because pleasing others cannot be the only motive of life, you also have to feel it pleases you. Or actually it first has to give you joy and only then will it truly benefit or attract other people too. And I must add that Pip most of the time feels utterly miserable.

Now the tricky part is when you realize that you’re doing something that is not satisfying you, but there are so many constrains and outside expectations that its hard get out of it. First you think – this can’t be wrong if everyone around me is doing the same. Staying in a job or a relationship just because most people do or expect that from you is not the right motivation. Its also extremely scary once you decide to go in a different direction then your peers. But at the same time heart lifting and liberating, gives you energy to start being true to yourself. Being loyal to yourself doesn’t mean being selfish, its being consistent. And consistency is something very attractive to the outside world.

Dickens’ Great Expectations has yet another – 9^th – film adaptation released in the UK cinemas just yesterday. Star cast and mouthwatering costumes I read. Looking forward to seeing it.